Mr. Bush, sir, you get the futon and, Mr. Ahmadinejad, you get the beanbag chair. I will be moderating from the papasan chair. I’ve obtained black-light posters of your countries’ flags that are hung above your respective chairs. It’s badass—trust me.

McSweeney’s Internet Tendency- M. RANDOLPH PULVER: Brian Barton, 24-Year-Old Pothead, Writes to Presidents Bush and Ahmadinejad.